I had a couple of things going on.
1) all three of my routers had a bad flash of DD-wrt
-- reflashing got me to a appoint where the routers would not reboot every 15 minutes, but simple drop all the wireless
connections (both WDS and computers connecting wirelessly)
2) missed the note that WDS requires encryption to be WPA2 with only AES
-- originally I configured with WPA as I have a couple of computers that are so old they only
support WPA ...
After these two changes, all three of the routers are now showing 21 hours of uptime, but the WDS wireless connections are all showing around 16 hours of connectivity.
Last night after all the changes, we managed to stream 3 hours of video with only 1 drop that could not be attributed to me working on the routes. Will be trying to make it through the weekend streaming shows and talking to grandkids .. the true test of the stability of
the routers and configuration